


The Good, The Bad and The Badder

by sodunwithyou



Series: Congregation's Vagrant [5]
Category: Bandom, Cobra Starship, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, I'm Bad At Tagging, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, M/M, Self-Harm, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-21
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-02 17:14:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 12,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5256890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sodunwithyou/pseuds/sodunwithyou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything was going great.</p><p>Until it wasn't.</p><p>And like a snowball rolling down a hill, it built and built growing bigger and stronger and more terrifying. It spiralled out of control until it shattered and they were left with the broken pieces to stick back together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Don't hate me. This one's a nice chapter.
> 
> Kik - saidanddun
> 
> tumblr - whatisdoneisdun

Brendon meant it when he said he would make their first time special. It would be a night to remember, it had to be. So he set his house up all pretty, fairy lights in the living room, a fort of pillows and blankets, a cake in the oven because he didn’t trust himself with anything more complicated.

Despite having every part of the night planned, Brendon was terrified. What if Dallon didn’t like it? What if Dallon isn’t ready? What if Dallon decides after they’ve done the do it isn’t what he wants? Dangerous thoughts flew around Brendon’s head like bullets, and each one hit their mark.

Dallon himself was freaking out, he’d put on his best shirt and a pair of skinny jeans Tyler had given him. He’d told his parents that’s who he was with, Tyler, good Christian Tyler. The lie hadn’t even bothered him, they were coming so often now and with such ease the lines between truth and fantasy had begun to blur and Dallon wasn’t entirely sure who knew what.

The first time he heard his window bang he ignored it. And the second. And the third. But the fourth was accompanied with a disgruntled shout “Juliet!” With a small smile Dallon opened his window and peered out, seeing the shadowy figure of Brendon below him.

“Hey.”

“Hey to you too, I’d love to have a beautifully romantic moment right now, but like there’s food in the oven at home and I’m not sure my parents will be too pleased if I burn the house down,” Brendon laughed.

“Okay, I’m coming down now.” Dallon rushed out, quickly saying goodbye to his mother and joining Brendon. Their hands fit perfectly together as they walked backed to Brendon’s, thankfully not passing anyone they knew.

Brendon couldn’t help but watch Dallon carefully, admiring his features, “you’re beautiful you know.”

“So are you Bren,” Dallon looked at him with a fierce passion that took his breath away.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” It only took a few minutes for Dallon to build up the courage to ask (or attempt to ask) the question burning in his mind. “Are we, tonight, will we-” he stammered.

Luckily Brendon knew exactly what he was talking about, kissing his cheek softly, “let’s just see where the night takes us.” It was practically a yes and they both knew it.

 

 

 

The cake lay abandoned beside them, the TV only background noise, the lights seemed like stars in the darkness of the room and Brendon was hopelessly in love. He was lost in Dallon, in his kiss, his touch, his kindness, in everything. The two were so close they were practically one, the clothes between them all that was holding them back, but they were both nervous. Brendon was scared of what would come next, of how Dallon would react to it all later. Dallon was scared that Brendon would leave, was scared it wouldn’t be right for him. But they both kept this to themselves, throwing everything into the kiss.

“Bren, I’m ready, please,” Dallon whispered eventually, moving his lips down to Brendon’s neck and lightly nipping the exposed skin.

“Sure?” Brendon asked, breath hitching, Dallon didn’t respond verbally instead humming against Brendon’s skin and continuing his attack. “Let’s, we should, off,” Brendon stammered, pulling at Dallon’s shirt.

They took their time, refusing to let the heat of the moment take over, each piece of clothing was abandoned beside them, every centimetre of skin was exposed. This was when Dallon finally began seeming nervous again. Brendon noticed of course, he notices everything about Dallon, so he saw the way he curled in on himself and tried to hide, the way his eyes wouldn’t meet Brendon’s suddenly. So Brendon had an idea of his own.

“So beautiful Dall,” Brendon kissed his lips softly, “most beautiful person I’ve seen, god, I’m so lucky to have you.” He continued to compliment his lover, worshipping every inch of his body until Dallon was squirming for an entirely different reason.

“Bren, come on, please,” he pleaded, pulling Brendon back up to his lips.

Brendon laughed, “I don’t know, I think I missed some skin down here,” he trailed a hand down Dallon’s thigh with a mischievous smile.

“If you don’t touch me soon Bren I’m leaving and I don’t even care,” it was an empty threat, both of them knew it, but Brendon was just as desperate to get release as Dallon was.

“Don’t leave,” Brendon returned to kissing him, pulling a bottle of lube out of god knows where. “It might hurt at first Dall, you gotta tell me if it hurts okay? I want this to be good for you.”

Dallon gulped nervously, adam’s apple bobbing as he watched Brendon watch him. “It’s okay, I’m ready.”

He was not ready. When he first felt the coldness of Brendon’s fingers he flinched, tightening and making Brendon groan and it felt weird and wrong and he didn’t get why anyone liked this. And then something really quite mind-blowing happened, Brendon hit that spot, crooked his fingers in just the right way and Dallon quite literally saw stars and let out the dirtiest noise Brendon has ever heard.

“Jesus, Bren, I need more, God, please,” Dallon begged, looking at Brendon with wide eyes.

Brendon smirked as he removed his fingers, ignoring Dallon’s whimper, “don’t use the Lord’s name in vain Dall.”

“Fuck you Bren, just fucking fuck me already,” it was a side of Dallon that was slowly showing itself more and more and Brendon loved it. Dallon wasn’t just the awkward giant Christian, he was a person without religion and a fucking hot one too. It was strange to hear those words come from Dallon of all people, but Brendon loved it, and he loved seeing Dallon finally be himself.

“Sure, okay.” It was awkward at first. Brendon could tell Dallon wasn’t comfortable, his face showing pure pain, so he stayed as still as possible but he was so hard that it actually hurt and staying still was proving a real challenge. “You alright babe?”

Dallon nodded, but he still didn’t look too comfortable and Brendon didn’t want to take advantage.

“You sure? Because we can stop you know?”

“Just move already!” Dallon shouted, rolling his own hips as he did so and causing the two to groan loudly. That one movement started it all, Brendon thrusting rhythmically into Dallon, who was holding onto Brendon like he was all that was keeping him grounded. There were gasped words that sounded a lot like ‘I love you’ and some others that sounded like broken praise, but it didn’t really matter because they were both a little too far gone to notice anything other than feeling.

And as they came, pretty much in sync, even that was lost to them as they both whited out for a minute. Dallon felt like he was floating, even when Brendon collapsed on top of him, they both lay there breathing heavily with legs tangled together.

“I love you,” Dallon kissed Brendon’s head.

“I love you too, so much.” Brendon smiled up at him, they were an absolute mess. “Wanna share a shower?”

Dallon hummed, “I don’t want to move.”

“We gotta clean up Dall,” Brendon sighed, “5 minutes okay?” Five minutes was a good idea, until they both fell asleep. Then it turned into an hour and Brendon woke up feeling hella disorientated and groggy and sticky because he knew they should have cleaned up.

With a sigh, he got up and left Dallon, decided to clean as he could without waking him, he liked what they had here. He really did. It felt like it was here to stay.

 

 

 

 

Once Dallon had gotten up and freaked out a little because he had to be home in an hour and he wanted to cuddle and shower with Brendon and cuddle some more and maybe fit in a make out session. Instead they showered had a quick kiss and Dallon hurried off home.

He may have lied to his mother when she asked about why he couldn’t quite walk right.

“Me and Ty were playing some basketball and it’s been a while I guess,” Dallon laughed nervously, not that his parents picked up on it.

“I’m glad you’ve got a friend. A good friend.” And Dallon ignored the way she just insulted Brendon, because he knew that’s what she meant, instead he smiled and went to his room.

He didn’t pray that night. Instead he thought of Brendon and their relationship and how happy he was. He could see them being this way forever.

He was so happy in fact he forgot all about his concerns of doom and tragedy, because there was no way they could ever end. Ever.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of these things are happening at the same time, and they are all around the same period. Enjoy ;)

It continued for a while, far longer than either of them expected because they’d both put an expiry date on it without even realising.

And like all bad things, it didn’t come alone.

Frank was different, he wasn’t bouncing around as much or smiling at all and he hadn’t cracked a joke all lesson and Tyler was concerned.

Gerard was different too, he was pale with red-rimmed eyes and he didn’t smile either and he had barely spoke a word all class instead leaving a PowerPoint slide up there as he watched his phone like a hawk.

Pete hadn’t shown up, or if he had no one had seen him, it wouldn’t be the first time he spent the whole day smoking weed but never alone, and never without Brendon.

Mikey wasn’t in either, no one had heard anything from him and that was unusual because he wouldn’t get high, especially not with Pete, and he’d definitely get someone to pick up the work if he was ill because he cares so much.

Patrick was avoiding everyone and that was when they figured that something had happened, something pretty important if Patrick was upset and something pretty awful if Pete had disappeared.

“I’m worried dude,” Tyler sighed, leaning heavily against Josh. Brendon and Dallon had slunk off, probably to make out in the cupboard again, and Joe and Andy were lost in conversation and everything was wrong without Pete and Patrick.

“Me too Ty, it’s not right. It must have been something big.” And that was all the information they had because no one would tell them anything.

 

 

 

 

“Do you know what’s up with Pete and Patrick?” Dallon asked as he absentmindedly fiddled with Brendon’s hands.

“I think they broke up or something, it sounds pretty awful. You saw Frank and Gee, that’s not normal, and for Mikey to go radio silent is concerning as fuck.” Especially given the events of last year, but only a select few knew and Brendon wasn’t about to go around telling everyone. But he was worried and if it wasn’t for his tall oaf of a boyfriend he’d probably be at Mikey’s door right now.

Dallon sighed sadly, “I hate that they broke up.”

“You just hate that I’m right,” it was an attempt to lighten the mood, but it failed miserably. It was too close to the truth to be funny.

“We won’t go out like that will we?”

Brendon squinted in confusion, “like what?”

“Like a firework, bright and beautiful and dangerous and burning and then nothing. I don’t want us to be nothing Bren, or to disappear or for it to be some fiery mess that ruins everything.”

“I don’t want us to go out at all,” Brendon spoke softly, almost scared that Dallon did and that’s why he saw saying that.

“Me neither Bren, but, can you promise we won’t let it end like that? That we’ll still be friends at least, that we’ll all make it out unscathed?”

“Of course.” It wasn’t a promise Brendon could make, not really, but he did it anyway because Dallon seemed to relax at the words and that’s all that mattered to him.

 

 

 

 

 

Only a short walk from Brendon’s house where the two were cuddled up and lost in each other, Mikey lay alone in bed with tears pouring down his face.

He hadn’t meant for it to happen. Honestly, he doesn’t really know why it did because it was never meant to be that way. Never.

In one awful decision, one very drunk and very awful decision Mikey had ruined everything. His brother wouldn’t look him in the eye, Frank was distancing himself, Patrick wouldn’t return his calls and Pete wouldn’t stop calling.

No one stopped him from staying at home, he half expected someone to turn up at his door and drag him to school. Of course no one had, so he lay there feeling miserable.

He lay there and thought about how easy it would be to get the blade he’d hidden under the loose floorboard in the kitchen, or the one on the top shelf where Gerard couldn’t reach. He thought about how easy it would be to end it all.

And when he heard Frank and Gerard’s muffled voices he’d hoped they’d come and see him, check he’s alright. But they didn’t.

And that was the last straw. No one came to check on Mikey as he made his way to the bathroom, locking the door behind him and going straight to the top shelf.

 

 

 

 

Pete stared in despair at his phone, Mikey wouldn’t pick up and neither would Patrick. Pete had been so horribly off his head it wasn’t even funny that night and bad decisions were made. He actually couldn’t remember most of it, just blurred flashes that make him feel worse.

More than anything he wants to talk to Patrick, because before they started this relationship Patrick was there for him. All the time. In his darkest times. He was the only one who knew about Pete’s disorder, the only one who knew how bad it could get. The other’s had suspicions but no one but Patrick _knew_. And Pete really needed someone who knew.

“Pete,” at the sound of his name Pete looked up and met dark brown eyes.

“Gabe,” he almost smiled.

“You don’t look too good man.”

Pete let out an empty laugh, “I fucked up.”

“Shall we get fucked up?” And Pete should have said no, and he knows he should have said no. Maybe that’s why he didn’t. Because Gabe was there and no one else was, Gabe had some weed and he was there and he didn’t want to ask questions he just wanted to get high and right now Pete was more than ready for that.

 

 

 

 

 

Patrick wasn’t quite sure how to feel at first. Betrayed. Hurt. Angry. Sad. Devastated. Broken. Empty. Worthless. He didn’t understand. Him and Pete had been doing so well, they’d been going strong and there hadn’t been any signs. Not a single one.

He knew deep down that Pete had always been a bit of a free spirit, and maybe expecting him to suddenly stop and settle down a little was unrealistic. But he didn’t really care, because he had to grow up eventually.

Thing is, Patrick started being angry and confused, but then he started to question why which is when the problems began. Because Patrick decided that it was because he wasn’t good enough, he wasn’t attractive enough, or skinny enough, or smart enough, or friendly enough. He. Wasn’t. Enough.

He decided to do something to change that.

He skipped dinner that night.

And lunch the next day.

 

 

 

 

 

And whilst all this madness was happening, whilst the lives of their closest friends fell apart, Brendon and Dallon remained blissfully oblivious. Their innocent movie session was soon a less than innocent make out session, it wasn’t long before clothing was removed.

Since their first time just over a week ago sex had become a regular thing for the two of them, whenever they got a moment alone they were together and if they had some guaranteed parent free time then it was more than likely they wouldn’t have clothes on.

Which is what happened here. Except Brendon wasn’t watching the clock, so he didn’t see it was 5:30, so he didn’t know that his parents would be coming back home any minute. He was a little too busy kissing Dallon as the two continued frantic thrusting and hip rolling.

And that’s how Brendon’s parents found them.

On the couch.

Having sex.

And all the perfection of their relationship, the security and the love and the sacredness, fell apart around them. And Dallon was suddenly reminded of why their love was doomed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kik: saidanddun  
> Tumblr: whatisdoneisdun


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Homophobia.... Just a little warning

Dallon felt like he was trapped in some awful, twisted nightmare. There was screaming and shouting and sobbing. And of course Brendon's Mum had called his own, so there were two sets of parents angrily screaming at them. He was too shell shocked to say anything himself, so terrified he couldn't form words, but Brendon took care of that.

Brendon had stepped in front of him in a pathetic looking, but emotionally strong, act of protection and support. He was also firing back at his parents just as quickly with a tongue just as sharp, defending Dallon like his life depended on it - and it really felt like it did.

"You've polluted him. You disgusting faggot."

"I haven't done anything to him. Love is not a choice." Brendon spat, hating the way they were talking about Dallon more than anything. He wasn’t weak, he made his own decisions, he wasn’t some blank canvas that could only be filled by the Church.

"This is not love. Never. Brendon, how did you fall so far?" His mother looked so disappointed in him and that would probably really hurt later, but right now he was too busy being angry to care.

"I haven't fallen! Our love is a gift from God, if there even is one, I've never been closer to heaven than when I'm in Dallon's arms or when he's in mine."

"Dallon. Step away from him son," his father’s voice was cold and calculated, careful as if Brendon would pounce on him. As if it were Brendon who was getting unreasonably angry. As if it were Brendon who was scaring Dallon.

"No Dad, I love him," Dallon was quiet and his voice was barely above a whisper, but the room was silent. It was the act that was more important, because Dallon had never stood up to authority like that. Or to anything.

As both sets of parents reeled, Brendon smiled. "I love you too," his hand found its way to Dallon's waist of its own accord. And it was a relief to feel Dallon press closer.

"Always."

"From the day we met, till the day we part," Brendon promised, Dallon's face lit up with a smile, his eyes genuinely glowing.

It was the crash that broke the moment, Brendon's dad had smashed a plate. Thrown it actually. Towards the two boys. "I will not tolerate this Brendon. Your mother and I were too tolerant, this rebellion is going too far now. It ends immediately."

"No it doesn't. You just don't get it, do you? I’m not doing this to piss off my bigoted Christian parents. I'm gay, I love Dallon, and before Dallon became a part of my life there were other boys too. I don't believe anymore. Not the same way. Why do you think I don't go to church? It's pointless. Singing to an empty sky. Praising an ideal. It's pointless and I've had enough."

"Get out." It was low and warning, Brendon wasn't sure what to do. "GET OUT!" Dallon jumped out of his skin at the screamed words.

Brendon didn't waste a moment, grabbing Dallon's hand, "come on Dall, I'll be back for my stuff when you are all at work." Dallon followed willingly, scared and shocked. Half of him wanted to stay, to tell his parents he was sorry and he didn’t mean it – but he did. He really did. And Brendon was his better half, Brendon taught him how to see the world without the shutters of religion.

“Where will we go?” Dallon asked quietly, they’d stopped at the park and had been sat in silence.

Brendon ran a hand through his hair, “I don’t know Dall. Fuck. I really don’t know.”

“What about Patrick?” They both adored Patrick and under normal circumstances it would have been the first place they went, Patrick would usually be everyone’s first port of call, but not today.

“No, no, Patrick needs space right now.” Dallon hummed in response, and as the minutes ticked by they both became excruciatingly aware of the fact that they might freeze to death if they stay out much longer. “Josh, I’ll phone Josh.”

It was a brilliant idea actually, Tyler and Josh’s parents had been more than accepting of their sons. In fact they thought it was adorable. So really, they should have been an obvious option. And when Brendon explained to Josh what had happened he was more than willing to help out his two friends.

 

 

 

 

“I cooked you up some supper,” Laura, Josh’s Mum, smiled, “and set up the spare room. I hope you guys don’t mind sharing a bed.” Dallon blushed, shaking his head though as Brendon smiled a little.

“That’s lovely, thanks so much Mrs Dun.” Brendon was winning her over with his charm, as always.

“It’s no trouble, please call me Laura.”

“Mum, they don’t need you bothering them, just leave them alone,” Josh sighed, sitting across from the two boys. He wanted them to explain, because all he really knew was they were kicked out after something pretty painful. “You sure you’re okay here?”

“We are, right Dall?” Dallon was quiet, like before he met Brendon, and it was a little disconcerting.

He nodded, “yeah,” his voice was hoarse and quiet.

“You know it wasn’t your fault, right? And that the things they were saying aren’t true Dallon.” It took a minute, Dallon’s eyes finally meeting Brendon’s and as if that was the straw that broke the donkey’s back Dallon snapped.

“What if they are right?” He sobbed, collapsing against a slightly surprised Brendon.

Brendon took it in his stride, rubbing his back and whispering in his ear. Josh looked like a fish out of water; completely unsure of where to go and what to do.

“None of it was true Dallon, our God would never punish you for showing love,” Brendon knew that at this moment it was a wasted battle, but he _needed_ Dallon to understand.

“He’s right Dall, God told us to show love and compassion to all. Not hate. Being gay is not a sin. That was made up by people who couldn’t understand or accept. The world is changing Dallon, people’s opinions are changing.” Josh explained, smiling softly and Dallon’s sobbing finally seemed to ease up.

“I think I’ll take him to bed now,” Brendon sighed, kissing Dallon’s head lightly.

Josh nodded, “alright dude, listen, we’ll need to talk tomorrow.” Brendon knew it wasn’t something they could avoid. But he had hoped they’d have a little more time.

“Sure, wake us up whenever you feel like it,” Brendon smiled, but he’d never felt more dead inside. He’d ruined this for Dallon, he wasn’t ready for people to know and Brendon wanted nothing more than Dallon to be completely ready but here they are.

“Night boys,” Laura called out, her sympathetic smile helping relax Brendon a little as he pretty much dragged Dallon into the spare room.

“Good night!” He struggled with Dallon, finally getting him undressed and in the bed, “night Dall, I love you so much.”

He had thought Dallon was asleep already, but his eyelids fluttered and he pulled Brendon closer, “I love you too Bren.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout at me on kik: saidanddun  
> or on Tumblr: whatisdoneisdun


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Self-harm

Ray was concerned. Ray was always concerned about someone or something, but this was something more. This was the type of concern that keeps you awake, that eats away at you until all you had was concern and guilt and worry and fear. Gerard hadn’t answered his message about Mikey and when he brought it up in school he was completely stone walled. He got a similar story from Frank too, he laughed emptily before waving him away.

But Ray knew this was different. There was something very wrong and he didn’t like it.

Which is why, at crazy o’clock, Ray snuck out of his window and made the long walk (which goes a lot quicker if you cycle like a mad man) to Mikey’s place. The only light on was in Mikey’s room and alarm bells were ringing for Ray.

He scaled the wall like a professional burglar, and if he wasn’t so on edge he’d have been really impressed, but when he found the room empty his heart stuttered because the bathroom light was on. Mikey was awake. Mikey was in the bathroom. Mikey was alone. Mikey was upset. Mikey had probably done something stupid.

“Mikes, Mikey, you in there?” Ray whispered, knocking slightly.

“Ray?” It was quiet, hoarse and weak and so not like Mikey.

“Yeah, it’s me. Let me in.” There were seconds of silence that stretched on for eternity until the click of a lock and when the door finally opened Ray’s heart shattered. “Fuck, Mike, what, why, shit.”

Mikey let out an empty laugh, forced and fake, “I’m fine.”

“You are not okay Mikey.”

“I am.”

“You are sat in a pool of your own blood!” Ray’s voice raised and Mikey winced.

“Keep your voice down, Gee’s in bed.” It was clear that no one knew. It was also painfully obvious that apart from Ray no one had been worried enough, no one had thought Mikey would revert back to the old days.

Ray lowered himself down, crouching at Mikey’s level, “we need to sort this out Mikes, I think you need to go to the hospital.” Mikey shook his head so fast he got dizzy.

“No, I can’t Ray, they can’t know.” It was now when Ray noticed the blade still in his hand, the way his hand seemed to be drawn to his wrists, his once porcelain wrists.

“Mikes, please, this shit is bad. Let me clean it up then.” Ray understood, he really did, he got where Mikey was coming from but it felt wrong hiding it from the people who cared. Mikey didn’t answer, but allowed Ray to come closer with a damp cloth and clean up the mess. He barely flinched as Ray bandaged up his arms and legs, he went willingly when Ray tugged him back to the bedroom.

He was turning to leave when Mikey caught his arm, “don’t leave me alone.” It was a broken plea that served to break Ray’s heart even further.

“I won’t Mikey, if you want me to stay I will.” Ray lay beside him, leaving the covers beneath him as a barrier between the two.

“I fucked up Ray,” it was inevitable that Mikey would talk about it, Ray’s been friends with him for so long that he knows he needs to get it off his chest. So he stays quiet and lets Mikey tell his story. “I went to a party with Pete and ‘Trick, it was great. And Pete got so drunk and someone had some weed, and then we were drunk and high. And I didn’t even know, not really, I didn’t know it was him. But me and Pete ended up having sex Ray, it was, oh god. Patrick’s face; he was so heartbroken. It was all my fault.” Ray just held him close as he cried, rubbed small circles into his back.

“It’s okay Mikey, we all make mistakes. They’ll get over it.” He wasn’t sure they would, but Mikey didn’t need to hear that.

Mikey sniffed into Ray’s chest, “What if I’ve ruined it? Frank and Gee won’t talk to me either, Pete and Patrick won’t. I was in the wrong Ray. I should have done something.”

It was at this point that Ray forced Mikey to look him in the eyes, “you aren’t wrong. It takes two to tango Mikeyway. Sometimes shit happens, they need to get used to it. And Gee and Frank are just being assholes. You shouldn’t have been left alone and I’m so sorry I wasn’t here sooner Mikey,” _sorry I couldn’t stop you from hurting yourself,_ “but this is not your fault.”

Neither one of them made the conscious decision to press their lips together, but suddenly they were. And it was warm and comforting and home. It didn’t last long, it was short and sweet, but Mikey’s smile reached his sad eyes as he lay back down on Ray’s chest and drifted to sleep.

“I’ll never leave you alone again Mikey,” Ray promised to the sleeping figure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I keep getting a notification for a new kik message from a new user but it isn't there when I open it up? Anyone know why that is?  
> Tumblr : whatisdoneisdun  
> Kik: saidanddun


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning came too soon. Brendon woke up slowly to find Dallon smiling sweetly at him. “How long have you been up?” He asked, his words slurred a little.

Dallon shrugged, cheeks a light red, “a little while.” Brendon arched up to kiss his lips.

“I like waking up with you.”

“I like it too,” Dallon genuinely smiled, he’d had time to think about everything that had happened and honestly, waking up with Brendon next to him was the best feeling in the world. There was a light knock at the door.

“Morning lovers, Ma made pancakes,” Josh announced, laughing a little when he saw the two of them cuddled up together.

Brendon cornered Josh in the kitchen whilst Dallon ate. “I don’t want him worrying, he doesn’t need to think about it anymore. You saw him last night, I don’t want him to break down like that again.”

“Sure, look, I just want to understand what happened.”

An empty laugh fell from Brendon’s lips, “we were having sex on the couch and my parents came home. Then they called his parents. Then we fought. Then I got thrown out and Dallon was dragged along with me.” Josh just stared with his mouth ajar.

“They threw you out?”

“I’m a gay atheist, they don’t really want me cramping their style. They could mostly ignore the drugs and the drinking. Even the whole atheist-agnostic thing I have going on. Gay was the deal-breaker.”

Josh ran a hand through his hair, eyes drifting to where Dallon was sat talking quietly to Laura. “Is he okay with all this?”

For a while there was silence, Josh was almost certain Brendon hadn’t heard him, but then Brendon turned teary eyes to him. “I might tell him to go back.”

“Why the hell would you do that?”

“Because. He loves his family. His religion.”

“That is the most awful excuse I’ve ever heard in my life Brendon and you know it. For a start, we all know that Dallon was completely miserable with them. He was being forced into being someone he didn’t want to be. Not only that, but Dallon is completely in love with you. He could have stayed there if he wanted, could of gone back home when you guys were sat out in the cold, or could have snuck off last night. He didn’t. He chose you,” Josh was struggling to keep his voice down, because Brendon is exactly the kind of guy who will do something because he thinks it’s right. That does not, by any stretch of the imagination, mean it is right.

Brendon just glared, “we can’t stay with you forever Josh. We can’t be that burden on you. Dall can go back home and I’ll get myself a job and a place to stay.”

“Bullshit. Stop making decisions for me. My Mum is more than happy for you to crash with us for however long you need.”

“Just drop it Josh, okay,” Brendon snapped, before taking a deep breath and running a hand over his face. “I’m sorry. Jesus. I don’t mean that, I’m just-”

“Forget it Brendon, you’ve had a real rough 12 hours. Just, don’t do anything stupid.” With those words of wisdom and a bone-crushing hug Josh left Brendon with a lot to think about.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pete woke with a pounding headache and a tonne of regrets. Patrick still hadn’t replied to him, not that he could blame him really. If he was Patrick he wouldn’t answer the phone either. Getting to school proved a real battle, but he made it eventually, even if his thoughts were swirling and his eyes blurring and everything was a little wrong.

“Pete, how are you?” Andy appeared out of nowhere, his voice full of sympathy and Pete hated it.

“Peachy. Just peachy.”

Andy rolled his eyes, still shooting that sympathetic stare at him though, “you don’t need to lie. You look like shit.”

“Well thanks,” Pete muttered, continuing his walk into school, which was more like a stagger.

“Are you drunk right now?” Pete nearly fell over, not realising Andy was still beside him.

Pete chuckled, “I fucking wish.” His eyes found Gabe leaning against his locker, without even thinking he started heading in that direction.

“You’re alive I see,” Gabe laughed, too loud for Pete who winced, “and by the looks of it you need another hit.” Andy was silent beside Pete, shocked at his friend’s behaviour.

“Got anything stronger?”

“Only for you Petey,” Gabe wrapped his arm around Pete’s shoulders and the two walked off, with Gabe holding Pete up a lot more than they’d like to admit.

Obviously, it was then when Patrick walked in. His face paling at the sight. Andy tried to defend Pete, tried to explain, but Patrick completely shut him down.

“He can do whatever the hell he wants, it’s not like he’s mine.”

Andy sighed, “’Trick-”

“Don’t call me that.” He snapped, turning on his heel, “I’ll see you at lunch or something.”

No one saw Patrick at lunch. But everyone saw Pete. Saw him cuddled into Gabe Saporta’s side with a cigarette held loosely in one hand, saw the soft kiss they shared that increased in heat as the seconds grew to minutes, saw the two of them slink off together with swollen lips and hooded eyes.


	6. Chapter 6

“Ray isn't here either," Tyler sighed when Josh pointed out Mikey’s absence, he was pretty sure he knew exactly what was going on.

"The groups falling apart dude, you're not cheating as well are you?" Josh chuckled, but there was a hint of sincerity in his eyes.

Tyler kissed his cheek, "it's only ever you Josh."

"Dork."

"Dog breath." There was a second before they started laughing again. "We need to do something."

"You still have that spare room, right?" Tyler nodded, a small frown on his face as Josh's smile grew. "What if you took in Dallon? Say it's to help him find himself again or something. His parents might prefer that, and then Brendon won’t feel as responsible and awful. And maybe then he won’t do something stupid."

And suddenly Tyler was smiling too, "I think that could really work."

"We can tell them next week, right now they need to be together and figure stuff out." Josh explained, eyes falling on where the two were hunched over.

"Is Dallon doing alright?"

"No. Neither of them are Ty, and it terrifies me. Brendon is trying to stay strong, but he’s breaking Ty." It was terrifying Tyler too. He was watching as each one of his friends fell apart, and the fear was growing with every day. "You are okay, and so am I. We have each other." Josh pulled him close sensing the oncoming panic attack. He'd helped Tyler through enough to read him like a book.

"And I'll never forget it." Tyler was an observant person. He was quiet, but when did speak it was with words of wisdom, but he saw more than anyone realized.

So he saw how Pete's eyes would fall on Patrick. On quiet Patrick who was merely pushing the small amount of food on his plate around. He saw how Pete wasn't leaning into Gabe’s touch, but falling into it.

He saw the crease in Brendon's forehead, the concern in his eyes as he watched Dallon. The way he was focused only on him. He saw the way Dallon was twitching and wiping away tears and frowning.

"We're going to be okay," Tyler whispered, an affirmation to himself and a promise.

 

 

 

Pete was very much the opposite. He knew it wasn't going to be okay. He'd fucked up so bad there wasn't any coming back from it. There wasn’t any winning Patrick back.

Maybe that was his biggest mistake; giving up so early. But his mind was waging war on him, and Patrick was gone and Gabe sauntered up with alcohol and drugs and that seductive smile and Pete was putty in his hands. And now Patrick has more reason to hate Pete and Pete has no other options here.

So as his mind spiraled down, Gabe did his best to keep Pete afloat. But like Pete, Gabe was synonymous with bad decisions. His fix was to keep Pete happy and high, which was pretty hard sometimes. Gabe would answer the phone at 2 in the morning and be at Pete’s place 15 minutes later with alcohol and weed and a warm body and that seemed to be enough for Pete.

But it wasn’t.

It really wasn’t.

 

 

 

 

“What the hell man?” Joe appeared in front of Pete, startling him a little.

“Joe,” it was so quiet and unlike Pete that Joe instantly frowned, glaring at Gabe who was keeping Pete upright.

“What’s going on, Patrick’s a mess dude you need to come back.”

Pete laughed, a horribly empty sound, “Patrick made his decision clear. He needs space. I’m bad for him Joe. I’m so bad for him. And. And. I can’t do this to him, okay. Brendon was right, I’m not cut out for relationships. Just, promise you’ll look after him.” There were tears in Pete’s eyes and it sounded so final that Joe was beginning to worry.

“No. He’ll come around and then you can look after him,” Joe said it with such conviction that Pete allowed a flicker of hope to make a home in his heart.

“Sure, okay. I’ll see you around Joe.” And Joe left feeling like he’d done the right thing, but as soon as he was out of sight Pete collapsed into Gabe. “I can’t do this Gabe.”

“You can Pete, I promise you can.” There were hands running through his hair and lips pressed to his forehead and with his eyes closed Pete could pretend they belonged to ‘Trick.

 

 

 

When Mikey came back it was with Ray’s hand clutched tightly in his. No-body asked where he had been, because they knew. Mikey was wearing jumpers with the sleeves pulled past his wrists and that sad look was back in his eyes, and Ray had gone all Momma-Bear and barely let Mikey out of his sight. The two were almost as inseparable as Dallon and Brendon who’d not spent a second apart since being thrown out.

“I missed you bro, good to have you back,” Brendon smiled and pulled Mikey in for a tight hug.

“Is, uh, is Patrick here?”

Tyler sighed sadly, “I don’t think he’ll come in for lunch today.”

“He rarely comes anymore, and Pete’s too busy hanging off Saporta,” Dallon added.

Despite Ray’s best efforts Mikey still blamed himself, and this was exactly why Ray had insisted on another two days away from the others – because now Mikey’s eyes were filling with tears and his hands were shaking. “We can find him if you want,” Ray offered.

“No. It’s okay.”

“Mike-”

“I said it’s okay and I meant it.” Mikey snapped, taking a seat and dragging a pouting Ray down beside him. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

Ray squeezed his hand softly, “it’s alright Mikes.” His kind words and soft eyes had Mikey wondering how the hell he got so lucky.

“So, uh, I’m sorry about you getting thrown out dude. It sucks.” And Mikey knew it did because him and Gee had been forced out the house too.

Brendon shrugged like it didn’t matter, his eyes were watery though and his expression pained, “hey, I get to spend my nights with this guy beside me so it could be worse.” Dallon chuckled a little, moving a little closer to him.

“We can be ourselves now,” Dallon pointed out, kissing Brendon’s cheek and coaxing a smile out of the energetic boy.

“You’re right about that.” They decided to leave it there, because every one knew it bothered the both of them more than they are willing to let on. Josh knows more than anyone because he sees them everyday.

Joe chose this moment to bound over to the table, “Pete isn’t okay.”

“Tell us something we don’t know,” Josh muttered, rolling his eyes.

“Guys, something weird is going on,” Joe continued.

Brendon just laughed, “yeah, he’s with Gabe and not Patrick. He made some bad decisions and then carried on.” Joe frowned but stayed silent, but Tyler looked over to where Pete and Gabe usually were and found the spot suspiciously empty.

“How about a trip to the music room?” Tyler suggested, mainly because he thinks that’s where Patrick is and they all need to talk.

 

 

 

 

Patrick was _not_ hiding. He was just enjoying his own company. He was enjoying beating the shit out of the school drum set. And he may or may not have been imagining he was hitting Pete’s face, no-one can prove anything.

And when the door opened and Tyler’s face appeared he most definitely did not feel his stomach drop to his feet.

“Hey Pat, we were worried about you.” Before Patrick could question who ‘we’ were what appeared to be their whole group filed in. Complete with Mikey. A very uncomfortable, very sad looking Mikey.

“I’m so sorry Patrick, I don’t know what happened. I just, you two, and I ruined it,” and suddenly Mikey was sobbing and Patrick was holding him close and rubbing his back.

“It’s not your fault Mikey, I promise.”

“I should have done something,” Mikey sniffed.

Patrick sighed, shaking his head, “no, no. This is on Pete. He started it. And to tell you the truth, that’s not the reason we’re not together. I mean, it is, but it isn’t.” Mikey nodded like he understood, which he probably did – everyone had seen Pete and Gabe, it was hard not to.

It was almost nice, and Patrick was beginning to wonder why he had been isolating himself when Pete slunk into the room. His eyes fell on Patrick immediately.

“I thought you’d be here ‘Trick,” and his voice was wrecked and his face was still wet with tears and Patrick definitely did not feel anything.

“What are you doing here Pete?”

“I’m so sorry, I messed up, right? I did. I know it. And then I messed up again. But I _need_ you Patrick,” Pete was almost on his knees at Patrick’s feet.

The laugh that fell from Patrick’s lips sounded foreign, it was too harsh to come from that angel, “you don’t _need_ me Pete. You want me. You’ve got Gabe wrapped round your finger and now you think you can play me. Well fuck you.”

“No, ‘Trick, you don’t understand. It’s not like that.”

Patrick scoffed, and everyone stared in shock at the scene before them, “oh really, so you aren’t fucking eachother? You aren’t getting drunk and high with him? Smoking? Kissing him? Hanging off him every second of the day?” _Like you used to with me._

Pete was shaking his head, tears rolling down his face and no one but Patrick and Gabe had seen him this vulnerable, “I needed it. He was trying to help. I needed to get out of my head Patrick, you know how it is.”

“Just fuck off Pete.” And Pete’s heart shattered. “I don’t want anything to do with you anymore. I don’t want to have to worry about you and your dumbass problems. You have _Gabe_ now. Let him pick up your broken pieces because I’m sick of being cut.” If Patrick had been looking at Pete he would have seen absolute heartbreak, betrayal and hurt, before his face hardened suddenly.

“Fine. Fine.” Pete jumped up, rubbing at his face violently as if trying to scrub off any evidence of his emotions, “you know what, maybe this was a good thing. Because Gabe is so much better than you anyway. You’re a bore Patrick, you always try to stop me having fun and now I don’t have you and your stupid over-bearing ways. I mean, look at Gabe, he’s sex on legs. You’re just, just you. Average Patrick. But no one can take their eyes off Gabe; he could be a fucking model. And the sex is _amazing_ , really there’s nothing better. In fact, I think we’ll go get high and have lazy sex all afternoon and it’ll be fucking great.”

“Go on then!” Patrick screamed.

“I’m fucking going, why the hell would I want to spend another fucking second with a bitch like you? I’m going to greener pastures asshole – you know what, I had a lucky escape. Toodaloo motherfuckers.” And Pete stormed out the room leaving a mass of destruction behind him.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so....
> 
> Feel free to kik me; saidanddun
> 
> Also, shamelessly promoting my review site: www.truetimbre.com I sometimes post cool things....
> 
> On another note, I got a signed Twenty One Pilots poster the other day and I literally burst out crying when I held it.


	7. Chapter 7

It took about 30 seconds of stunned silence before Patrick folded in on himself and let out a broken sob. Mikey was by his side holding him in seconds, rocking him gently.

“He didn’t mean it Patrick.”

Patrick didn’t say anything for a while, “but it’s true,” he mumbled into Mikey’s shirt.

At this comment Brendon shot up, “no it isn’t. Patrick, you are amazing. You really are. You’re smart, funny, the kindest person. You have a pure soul and that’s something a lot of people don’t have.”

Joe hated to take sides, he really did, and he usually stays away from the fights because he likes to think he’s a lover not a fighter, but even Andy had sent a glare in Pete’s direction and Joe didn’t like that one bit. “Guys, it not that I’m, uh, taking sides or whatever. But, like, I think Pete’s really struggling.”

“Who gives a flying fuck?” Brendon rolled his eyes, moving closer to Patrick.

“No like, seriously, I’m worried for him,” Joe continued but no one was listening.

Tyler turned to him with sympathetic eyes, “Pete’s going to be okay. We all are.” And Joe believed him because, fuck, he just wanted things to go back to the way they were.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pete did find Gabe, but they didn’t have sex. He had a breakdown instead, and Gabe held him through the whole thing.

“Sex on legs?” He asked with a small laugh.

It made Pete smile a little, hiding his face in Gabe’s shirt, “shut up, I was mad and I didn’t know what to do.”

“It don’t matter Pete, but I thought you went to make up with him?”

“I did,” Pete sighed, holding Gabe closer and hiding his face in his shirt. There was a silence that lasted too long before Pete made a muffled confession. “I can’t stand the noise Gabe. I’m really scared.” Gabe didn’t say anything, because he was petrified. Him and Pete had always been close, not quite as close at Pete and Patrick, but close all the same. He had his suspicions about Pete and his mental state, he had his suspicions about what Pete was alluding to, but for the life of him he couldn’t think of anything to say. So he held him closer, refusing to let him go until Pete cried himself to sleep in his arms.

 

 

 

 

“I think, maybe, you should move back in with your parents,” Brendon sighed and refused to look Dallon in the eye.

“Oh. Are you, do, are you sick of me?”

Brendon ran a hand through his hair, “no Dallon, of course not. I just. I split you from them, that’s on me. You weren’t ready. And now you don’t have a home.”

“Neither do you.”

“But you could have one. You could go back.”

Dallon frowned and shook his head, “what if I don’t want that? Have you considered my opinion in all of this?”

“Of course I have Dall.”

“And it’s just not important?”

“Don’t try and turn this around.”

“Shut up Bren, for one minute just shut up. I want to be with you. And if that means it’s just me and you then fine. If that means my family don’t talk to me ever again then fine. If that means I’m going to hell then you better make the trip worth it.”

Brendon let out a giggle, an extremely manly giggle of course. “I love you,” and when their lips met all the hard feelings melted away (except their dicks, they got hard).

Things were getting heated when Brendon pulled away, “what about moving in with Tyler?”

“What the hell? You just killed the mood,” Dallon groaned, falling down on the bed with a frown.

“Sorry.” But Brendon didn’t sound remotely sorry. “I think, maybe, we’re a burden. Poor Josh has to deal with the both of us and if you stay with Tyler maybe your parents will think it’s to find yourself and you might win them back as well.”

“I don’t want my family back,” Dallon whispered, his eyes locked on the ceiling. “They don’t accept me Bren. And if I lie to them just to have them back, I’ll be giving in again. I just want to be me.” There was a choked back sob and Brendon pulled Dallon close.

He pressed a soft kiss to Dallon’s forehead, pushing back his hair and peppering kisses across his face before landing on his lips. “You’re right. I love you. I’m sorry.”

“I love you too.” Brendon lay down beside Dallon, resting his head on his chest and wrapping his arms around him. “I’ll think about it Bren, maybe Josh does need a break.” The truth is they both needed each other as much as they needed space.

“I’d never let you go Dall, never. Your love is all that keeps me going and I wouldn’t give that up for the world. As long as your happy I’m happy.”

Dallon let out a small laugh, kissing Brendon’s head, “I’m always happy with you around Bren. You make me happy.”

“We’re sappy idiots.” Brendon grumbled, although the smile on his face was so large it hurt.

“You love it,” Dallon shrugged.

Brendon moved to straddle him, “actually, I love you.”

“Really?” Dallon raised an eyebrow is silent challenge.

“Yeah.”

“I’m not so sure.” Brendon smiled deviously, darting down and kissing Dallon with everything he had, they both broke apart gasping for air. “No, still not convinced.”

Brendon let his hands roam Dallon’s body, slipping under the old t-shirt, as his lips continued his assault. When he pulled back to breathe he didn’t return to kissing Dallon, instead he let his lips land on his neck. “Now they’ll know your mine,” he whispered against the skin.

“People already know Bren,” Dallon gasped.

“You don’t though,” there was a hint of mischief in those hazel eyes when Brendon pulled away.

“Fuck you.”

“That’s the plan.” The rest was a blur of clothing being removed and thrown in every direction, heated and wet kisses, fumbling fingers, muffled moans and shouts, ending in a naked heap of entangled limbs.

“You have me convinced.” Dallon let his lips ghost over Brendon’s cheek.

There was a pink blush spreading across Brendon’s cheeks that was obviously down to the physical exertion not his amazing boyfriend’s compliments. “That’s good.”

“Ready for round two?” And Brendon was definitely ready.

“Shower.” The two were stumbling over their feet as they made their way to the shower, smiles plastered on their faces and only happy thoughts on their minds – and for that brief (or not so brief) moment all their troubles were miles away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Alert - the troubles aren't miles away....
> 
> kik me - saidanddun  
> (I'm always bored and I need someone to fangirl with)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was going to be a celebration of school finally ending.... When I read the chapter though it wasn't really that much of a celebration.
> 
> Apologies in advance; next chapter will be up in two or three days.
> 
> Themes of suicide and some upsetting content

Pete just wanted it to stop.

He wanted the buzzing to stop.

He wanted the thoughts to stop.

He wanted the guilt to stop.

He _needed_ it.

Which is how he ended up sat in his car in a Best Buy parking lot with tears pouring down his face and too many tablets in his hand.

“I just need it to stop, just for a little while,” he whispered to the empty car. This had to be enough. His usual pills weren’t working. This was all he had left.

And it worked for about 10 minutes, Pete cried into the silence and he wasn’t completely sure if he was happy or sad. He enjoyed it – the silence, it was comforting and everything was perfect and this is just what he wanted.

But then it was so much worse. It wasn’t a buzz, it was a roar. His head pounding, his vision blurring, his stomach churning uncomfortably. He wasn’t happy anymore. He wasn’t anywhere near happy. He was terrified.

He was dying. And when that realization came crashing down shaking fingers fumbled to grip his phone.

He needed Patrick.

Now more than ever. Pete just hoped he’d pick up.

When Patrick saw Pete’s face flash up on his screen he looked away. When it rang a second and third time he did the same. It was the fourth time when that feeling coiling in his gut wouldn’t go away that he answered.

“What is it Pete?” There was silence on the other end. “Pete? What the hell dude?”

“P-pat, I, I-” Pete was trying to form words but everything hurt and he was so tired and he just wanted to close his eyes.

There was something about Pete’s voice, the way it was completely wrecked, the sobbing and heavy breathing that had Patrick jumping to his feet, “Pete, what’s wrong?”

“I messed up.”

“Tell me, let me help you.” Patrick was hopping as he tried to get on his shoes, desperate for Pete to say something again.

Raspy breaths filled the silence, “I took some pills. Too many. I-its blurry. I’m, I’m so tired Patty.”

“Where are you? Pete, stay with me, okay, stay awake.”

“Best buy,” Pete laughed and the sound chilled Patrick to the bone. “I’m gunna fucking die in a Best Buy parking lot.”

Patrick took the steps two at a time, rushing for the house phone, “you’re not going to die Pete, I’m going to phone an ambulance and they’ll come and get you.”

“I want you here Patty, be here, Pat.”

“I’ll meet you at the hospital, I promise.”

“I love you Patrick. Losing you was the worst thing that happened to me. I’m so sorry for hurting you. So. So. Sorry. Love you,” Pete’s words were so slurred it was hard to make out.

“I love you too Pete, we’re going to be okay. I was being childish, we’ll be alright, just stay with me,” Patrick pleaded, his words punctuated with harsh breaths as he tried not to cry and tried to stay calm.

There was a bang as Pete’s arm fell limp, his phone dropping to the floor, “love you ‘Trick.”

“PETE!” Patricia stared in concern at her sobbing son, who had a mobile in one hand and the landline in another. “You need to send an ambulance to the Best Buy, my boyfriend overdosed. He’s unconscious I think, please help him.” Patrick tried his best to be helpful but it was so damn hard.

He jumped at the hand that fell on his shoulder, “I’ll take you to the hospital.” He thanked the angel that was his mother and the two left only with what they had in their pockets.

He kept the phone pressed to his ear, heard the sirens approaching, listened as the door opened. “Weak pulse. Barely breathing. He needs to get to the ER stat.”

Patrick heard the door close, the sirens retreating and listened to the silence in horror.

“Pete,” the words came out as a whispered sob.

“He’ll be okay Patrick, he’s a strong boy. He’ll make it through.”

“Momma, I’m so scared.” Patrick broke down, regretting everything he’d ever done. Regretting not listening when Pete said he needed him, regretted holding a grudge. Pete had trusted him, he’d told him about his battles and Patrick knew that he had become a shoulder to lean on (and cry on). But he let him down.

He let him down.

“I let him down.”

Patricia turned to him, face stern and serious, “don’t you dare blame yourself. This isn’t on anyone. What you need to do now is to be there for Pete, be what he needs and be what you need. Make sure you both know what the other wants Patty.”

“He came to me and I turned him away.”

“You two were fighting. It’s been a tough few weeks for everyone Patrick. Don’t blame yourself. Pete wouldn’t want that.” That’s what Patrick held on to – Pete wouldn’t want that.

“I think I love him.”

“I know sweetie,” her smile was sad and sympathetic. It took Pete trying to kill himself for him to realise he’s desperately in love.

“I don’t think I can live without him.”

She reached out and took his hand, “you won’t.” She was so assured, so certain, that Patrick nodded. Patrick allowed himself to believe her, because if he didn’t then he wasn’t quite sure what he’d have left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kik - saidanddun  
> Tumblr - whatisdoneisdun
> 
> Please don't hurt me. I love you all. Goodness is coming. There's sweet sweet smut in a few chapters time (like one or two). 
> 
> Feel free to attack me over kik because it's the holidays now and I'm bored and don't want to do any of the work I've been set and you guys like the same things as me.
> 
> And final point (I promise) have you guys seen the unfair hotness of Kevin Ray (WALK THE MOON) because that's just not fair. Like wow. Anyway.... don't be too mad.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I felt really bad for doing that to Pete (and Patrick) but I think it was important and it couldn't be ignored. But fear not, we've hit rock-bottom and it's all uphill from here. 
> 
> To make up for it I'm gifting you another chapter :) The next one should be up in two or three days depending on how much I get written in that time.

Patrick was a bit of a mess. The radio silence was terrifying. He just wanted to know if Pete was alright. 

“Oh my dear, are you okay?” Suddenly Patrick found Pete’s mum wrapped around him. He spluttered a little before nodding. “He’s going to be just fine.” But she was crying too. Patrick let her believe it.

Someone must have told Pete’s friends, someone who wasn’t Patrick, because suddenly his phone was lighting up with missed calls and texts that he just couldn’t deal with. He was too busy being an emotional wreck. 

“Pete Wentz?” Patrick nearly fell over in his rush to get up, “he’s sleeping right now so you can’t see him, but he’s recovering. We had to pump his stomach and he’ll likely be out of it for a while. Mrs Wentz, I’m afraid there’s some things we should discuss.” The Doctor ushered her to a private room and Patrick collapsed back into his chair – there was no way he was leaving without seeing Pete.

“Pete? Where’s Pete Wentz?” Patrick’s head shot up at the sound of Gabe’s voice, he had been seconds from sleep and now he felt miles away from slumber.

“Gabe.”

“Is he, jesus, is he okay?” Gabe stammered, he’d clearly been crying and the boy was shaking uncontrollably. Seemingly only marginally better than Patrick.

Patrick sighed, pulling Gabe over to the seats, “he’s going to be. He’s sleeping right now, but, they pumped his stomach Gabe.”

“It’s my fault,” Gabe dropped his head into his hands. “I got him drugs. I started this. I didn’t know what else to do. I was there for him to cry on, but I wasn’t prepared. I couldn’t help him.” 

“No. This isn’t our fault; it isn’t anyone’s fault.” His mother’s speech all made sense now and Patrick was seeing a side to Gabe he didn’t know existed. “You were there for him more than I was. Pete’s a stubborn guy.”

Gabe gave Patrick a weak smile, “he’ll be so happy you’re here. Man, he doesn’t shut up about you.”

“He didn’t care too much when you guys were having sex,” Patrick muttered bitterly.

“Dude!” Gabe laughed, and it almost had Patrick convinced. “I’m a shit friend. Sex, drugs and alcohol is all I know. Pete, he needed someone who gets him, I needed someone to get high with and Pete found himself desperate for a warm body. I’m a fucking shit friend.”

Patrick found himself hugging Gabe before he knew what was happening, “don’t say that. That’s not all you know, so you suck at feelings – why do you think Pete has such a hard time talking about it? That’s cool dude, and I’m sorry for judging you. Turns out you’re not a dick.”

“Maybe I’m just here to collect Pete’s drug debts,” Gabe joked, nudging Patrick playfully.

“As if Pete pays with money, I bet its blowjobs in dirty alleys.”

Gabe grasped at his heart dramatically, “I’m offended. We use the men’s toilets.” The two found themselves laughing before long, and Patrick couldn’t have been more grateful for the distraction or the company.

 

“Mr Wentz is awake now.” The two boys fell silent, turning their attention to the doctor before them. “He’s asking for Patrick, are either of you Patrick?”

“I am,” Patrick responded, voice wavering a little as he got to his feet.

“You can come see him now, he’s a little out of it still and he needs his sleep. But he’s very persistent.” Patrick let himself smile a little.

“Pete’s a very stubborn guy.” 

“He’s just in there.” The doctor let Patrick go in on his own, finding Pete blinking up at him hopefully.

“I’m sorry.” And with those two words Patrick fell into the bed beside him and held him close.

“Don’t ever leave me, never ever leave me Pete,” Patrick sniffed as he hid his face in Pete’s neck.

“I won’t ‘Trick, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean for that to happen. I swear. You gotta believe me ‘Trick,” Pete pleaded with teary eyes, “I just wanted some quiet.”

Patrick kissed his lips softly, “I know Pete. I know.” They returned to silent hugs, reveling in the closeness. “I can’t lose you Pete, I love you.”

“I love you too. I really fucking do,” Pete choked, kissing Patrick wherever he could reach. “I’m never letting you go now.”

“I wouldn’t let you anyway.” 

The rhythmic beeping and humming of machines had the two of them drifting off, Patrick finally able to relax with Pete alive and (kind of) well in his arms. “Sing for me?” Pete mumbled, voice thick with sleep.

“What?”

“Sing me a song Patty, sing me a lullaby.” Usually Patrick would argue, but Pete was smiling sleepily against his shoulder and he looked so small and fragile and beautiful and innocent and Patrick found he couldn’t say no.

With a sigh he replied, “and what should I sing?”

“Anything.”

“Gabe is here.” Patrick blurted.

“That’s not a song.”

“But he’s waiting to see you too.”

Pete threw an arm around Patrick, “but I’m tired ‘Trick. Sing me a song and when I wake up he can come say hi.” So began a slow, acoustic ‘How To Save A Life’ that had Pete sleeping soundly on Patrick’s chest. It didn’t make Patrick’s pain fade away, and it didn’t solve Pete’s problems, but it did remind them why they keep fighting. It reminded them that there’s someone who loves them, it forced them to see just how much they adore the other. 

Nothing was alright. But they both knew that it would be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kik - saidanddun
> 
> Srsly hit me up.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just FYI this happens like a day or two before the last chapter (so no one knows anything about Pete)

Tyler let out a laugh against Josh’s skin. The two were pressed tight together, despite having a whole couch to themselves they were practically laying on top of each other.

“I’ve missed this,” Tyler whispered, teeth grazing the skin just below Josh’s ear.

“Me too,” Josh gasped, head falling back against Tyler. “We don’t get enough time alone.”

“We’re alone now though Jish,” and before Josh could make some smart (and probably hilarious) comment Tyler had moved to straddle him, lips locking passionately.

“Shit,” Josh moaned as Tyler’s hands moved to pull at his hair.

“You need to dye your hair again baby,” Tyler commented as if they both weren’t painfully hard and panting.

“Sure.” Josh was having a great deal more difficulty than Tyler was when it came to forming words. “What colour?”

“I always liked the blue,” Tyler punctuated the statement with a thrust of his hips.

Josh groaned beneath him, “anything you want Ty.”

“Absolutely anything?”

“Anything.”

“Pink.”

“Fine. Pink it is.” Josh pulled Tyler down and kissed him, hands working on unbuttoning Tyler’s shirt as Tyler struggled to pull down Josh’s trousers. “Don’t you think we should go to your room?”

Despite the voice in the back of Tyler’s mind shouting ‘yes, yes you should’ Tyler shook his head, smiling triumphantly when he finally had Josh naked. “Here is good. Parents won’t be back ‘till late.” And in Josh’s painfully turned on state he definitely wasn’t going to argue with that.

“God Ty, I need you so bad.” Josh moaned, lips meeting for a messy kiss.

Tyler looked up, cheeks flushed a dark red, peering through his lashes innocently, “you have me Josh.” Any remaining control flew out the window as Josh pounced on his boyfriend, removing the last few boundaries of clothing quickly and letting his hands explore the newly exposed skin.

“Lube and condoms?” Tyler was past the point of speech, waving vaguely in the direction of some drawers. He had barely registered that Josh was gone before he felt soft lips on his skin and gasped at the intrusion of Josh’s fingers.

“Fuck, J, just do it already,” Tyler whined.

“Shh baby, we have to do this properly,” Josh pressed soft kisses to Tyler’s neck as he carefully opened his boyfriend, kisses turning into bites turning into hickeys by the time he had three fingers inside a gasping and writhing Tyler.

As soon as Tyler was ready Josh was fumbling with the condom, listening to Tyler’s babbling compliments and begging. “Josh. I swear I will finish this myself,” Tyler threatened. Josh didn’t bother answering, instead he slowly entered his boyfriend.

“God Ty, I love you,” he gasped once he was fully inside Tyler.

“Love you too,” Tyler groaned, moving himself on Josh’s dick and earning an impressive moan from his lover. The two set an impressive pace, meeting in the middle with each thrust as Tyler held tightly to Josh.

“So close Ty,” Josh murmured, breathing heavily against Tyler’s tanned skin.

“Me too,” Tyler panted, “I love you Josh, fuck I love you so much.” And it was this that sent Josh over the edge, coming with a cry of Tyler’s name with Tyler following soon after.

They lay there in each other’s arms, basking in the warm afterglow until their breathing evened out. “I missed that.” Tyler chuckled, kissing Josh’s cheek.

“So did I Dog Breath.”

“You know, I think we should clean up this mess baby boy,” Josh glanced around at the mess they’d made – clothes lay in heaps around the room (and he’s pretty sure those are Tyler’s boxers hanging off the lampshade), blankets and pillows and had been dragged into a twisted mess on the floor and most horrifically Tyler’s cum was beginning to dry.

Tyler sighed sadly, “as much as I loved that. Next time we should head to bed.”

“Let’s go get cleaned up first,” Josh decided, already pulling Tyler in the direction of the shower.

“If we go in there now, we’re not coming out for a while. We need to clean this up.” Josh pouted, and Tyler almost caved, but soon enough they were throwing things in for a quick wash. Tyler’s face had blushed a deep red when he saw just how much of a ‘mess’ he had made. “We are never doing that down here again. My Mum will kill me if that stains.” He tried not to be offended by Josh’s hysterical laughter.

“I love you man,” Josh managed to say between laughs.

“Love you too dude. Now, how about that shower?” And suddenly Josh wasn’t laughing, although his smile was slightly manic, as he took Tyler’s soft and calloused hand in his.

“You know what man, I don’t know about that.” The two giggled as they headed upstairs, lips already gravitating towards each other. “Shower sounds real good right now.”

“You just want to have another orgasm,” Tyler faked hurt, leaning in and kissing Josh with a big smile.

There was another moment where the two got lost in each other, it was a fairly common occurrence. Josh raised his hands in mock surrender, “you caught me. What’s my punishment?”

“Fuck,” Tyler gasped quietly, taking a second to memorise everything about Josh in that moment before pushing him harshly up against the wall and kissing him roughly. It didn’t take long for their dicks to show interest.

They never made it to the shower.

Not until Round 3 anyway. And ended up back in there for Round 5.

They also came to the fairly logical conclusion that they should never abstain from sex for that long again. And if they do, going at it 5 times really fucking hurts the next day – no matter how much prep.

“Remind me again why you’re walking funny?” Brendon asked with a knowing smile and a teasing glint in his eyes when Josh and Tyler walked into the living room.

“Fuck off Brendon,” Tyler and Josh responded in unison. Yeah, they are never doing that again.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey frens  
> So, only one more chapter of this instalment! Fear not - there is at least one more instalment to come. 
> 
> As always feel free to hit me up on kik or something, talking to you guys is great :) I promise I don't bite
> 
> kik - saidanddun


	11. Chapter 11

Pete slept through the night – his body desperately in need of the rest. Although he really didn’t want to Patrick managed to free himself from Pete’s iron grip to let Gabe know what was going on. It took some convincing but eventually Gabe agreed to go get some rest and come back in the morning.

When morning did come it was slow and easy, sunlight peeking through the blinds on the window and heating patches of the bed with its warm rays. The hospital slowly grew louder, and the boys slowly woke up to face the world.

Things should have changed. Logic would tell you they did. But it hadn’t. Not in a way that really mattered. Because Patrick knew, he always knew, that Pete wasn’t always happy and that there wasn’t always something he could do about that. And Pete knew that he had Patrick, and that this time neither of them would let go without a fight. Maybe Patrick was a little more concerned than usual, and Pete a little clingier, but that’s okay.

They would survive.

“I love you,” Patrick said with a smile after watching Pete wake up.

“And I love you too.”

“We should probably talk about what happened last night,” Patrick suggested carefully.

He watched Pete’s face, the way he frowned and tensed, “could it wait ‘Trick?”

“Of course Pete, whenever you’re ready.” It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, it rarely was with those two and their bizarre psychic connection. “Is it alright if I let the others know you’re awake? They all want to see you.”

“Sure. I. Yeah, I want to see them too.”

“No pressure Pete, they don’t want to see the fake smile and the obnoxious laughter. They want Pete, no matter how fucked up.”

Pete chuckled quietly, “I think that was meant to be a compliment, yet I’m still feeling a little insulted.”

Patrick shrugged, smothering a laugh, “all the best compliments are insults as well.”

“You know what, I think you’re lying and I don’t even care. Thanks though ‘Trick.” The nurse came in to run some tests and make sure everything was working as it should as Patrick sent off a message to the group.

Unsurprisingly it was Gabe who showed up first, barging through the door with a pair of outrageous animal print pants and an armful of presents.

“Yo, I brought you some stuff,” he announced, throwing it on the bottom of the bed.

Pete raised an eyebrow, “I can see that.”

“You gunna open them or just stare?”

“Your face is just so captivating I can’t look away.”

“It’s part of my charm. Now, open.” Gabe laughed, pushing the badly wrapped lumps towards Pete.

“You realise it isn’t my birthday.”

Gabe rolled his eyes, poking Pete’s leg, “I’m well aware dumbass. This is a sorry-for-being-a-shitty-friend-I’m-really-glad-you’re-alive-and-well-don’t-do-that-again-or-I’ll-kill-you present.”

“Okay. I’m sorry too. This wasn’t your fault,” Pete replied quietly, smiling genuinely at Gabe – it was only a small smile, but it did its job in reassuring his friend.

At this point Patrick returned with his perfect timing and coffee, “let’s not play the blame game. No one is to blame.” He handed one cup over to Pete, who looked like he was about to explode with happiness.

“Have I told you I love you Patty. Because I do. SO much. Like wow. Love. Love. Love. YOU. I do.” He took a long sip of the coffee, “I also love coffee. Not as much as you though. Patrick, bringer of the coffee.”

“Stop talking,” Patrick laughed, shaking his head at his boyfriend. Patrick’s entrance provided a perfect distraction from the conversation, and the coffee was yet another way to stay quiet until the madness began.

“Are you dressed?” Brendon called out from outside the door, making Gabe and Pete laugh as Patrick rolled his eyes.

“Just get your ass in here already.”

The whole group made their way into the room, crowding around Pete’s bed. “Don’t do it again.” Brendon said sternly, but his eyes were soft and caring.

“Me and Josh were planning a re-run of our sex marathon, we totally put that off for you,” Tyler mumbled with red cheeks but it had Pete beaming which is totally what he was going for.

Brendon felt the need to join in too, “you should have seen it man! So these two come back in after their ‘date night’, Josh stayed at Ty’s, and neither of them could walk right so they clearly just fucked all day and night. And they were answering in sync. It was hilarious.” Both Tyler and Josh were frowning in Brendon’s direction, but they couldn’t exactly argue with him.

“I thought I’d get us Taco Bell for lunch, it’s on me,” Josh offered with the room cheering in response. “And when I say me, I mean the money I took from Tyler’s wallet last night.”

“I hate you,” Tyler said with a smile, totally ruining any severity in the statement.

“Sure,” Josh giggled, kissing Tyler’s cheek with a smile.

“You guys are gross,” Brendon groaned, receiving various looks of disbelief.

It was Pete who laughed the most, “you are literally sat in your giant boyfriend’s lap running your hands through his hair and whispering sweet nothings in his ear as he tries to make you stop talking so he can partake in conversation.”

“Prove it!” Brendon challenged, but his flushed cheeks were telling enough.

“I can tell you that Pete hit the nail on the head.”

“I’m gunna hit your head,” Brendon pouted, Dallon only laughed as he kissed him.

Pete turned to Mikey, who had been quiet (which is hardly unusual) but had been moving closer and closer with each second. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, making Pete frown. “Is this how you felt when you found out I was cutting? Because I could barely breathe when I heard Pete. And I’m so sorry. And I’ll be there for you whenever you need it. And I won’t cut again.”

“Hey, Mikeyway it’s okay. We all need some help sometimes. It’s okay not to be okay and to not know how to cope, it’s natural to find ways to deal with it. That’s what you did, that’s what I did. But we don’t need to, because stood here with us now are a bunch of people who love us and care about us and as long as there are people like that then there’s a reason to keep going. It’ll get better.” Pete pulled Mikey in for a hug, holding his friend tightly.

“As much as I love this love-fest, and you know I’m a sucker for love, can you open the fucking presents now?” Gabe frowned, nudging Pete until he finally picked up the present closest to him.

Warning bells should have been ringing when he saw the feral smile on Gabe’s face, “Stop smiling like that, it’s creeping me out,” but this only made him smile bigger. After ripping through five layers of wrapping paper (“Jesus Gabe, what the hell is wrong with you?”, “I was bored Pete, and there was so much paper and I didn’t want you to guess what it was.”), he unveiled the ‘genius gift’.

“CONDOMS!” Brendon squeaked before descending into hysterical laughter as the others giggled a little.

Pete raised an eyebrow at Gabe, “don’t look at me like that. You have lover boy back now, you and your boyfriend are gunna need them.”

As the group fell into teasing and joking and general conversation despite their location things felt normal. Things felt right. So they may be a little broken, but isn’t everyone?

“I told you we’d be okay,” Tyler whispered into Josh’s ear with a smile, Josh’s answering grin said it all as he rushed to make plans with the others for some insane movie marathon or something equally as dumb.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of this guys :( I think there'll be one more little series thing just to finish it all off (and because I love these guys and they deserve a little more happiness before we leave them behind) 
> 
> More than up for some prompts or something - hit me up this holiday season ;) 
> 
> kik - saidanddun  
> tumblr - whatisdoneisdun
> 
> Happy Holidays Frens


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